Bitch-on-high heels

"Wth!? Why doesn’t my inbox get auto-deleted just for a day...it’s bloody flooded with tasks! ", I was looking at the endless list of tasks that I had to do and was blabbering something…mmm to no one in particular… I do this sometimes, talking to myself and I don’t know why people find this strange. No m not crazy, but I often find people staring at me and sniggering for reason(s) that only they can tell you. I quickly made a mental note of the tasks that I was supposed to complete on that day. I dunno what mental notes I make but I end up forgetting everything so I stuck some post-it notes too. Shit. My workstation looked messy. I had to clean it up but I could do that later, I had to first finish my tasks. There were at least half a dozen things lined up and I did not know which one to complete first. Prioritize. I kept repeating it to myself . But it made no sense to me coz every mail had a ‘note’ at the end saying: urgent/ asap/ to be given by eod and scores of other ugly words that made me curse the person who had first used the word prioritize. Yeah and that’s because when you know that there is something called prioritize, your boss keeps repeating it to you again and again and you are unable to prioritize (coz for some reason you were not born as superman) and you don’t want to blame yourself for anything since you are working your ass off, you blame the person who came up with this word prioritize. Anyway, to avoid confusion and wastage of time (one of the favorite things that my boss loves saying), I did that inky-pinky-pinky-ponky thing and started working on the first task.
Generally, it so happens that once I start working I leave my seat only if I have to take a lunch or snack break or have to attend some boring meeting or go to the loo but this day was definitely different. “shh…Ca…” Did someone just speak to me? I turned around and looking at me was this woman from the other side of my cubicle. She was a disaster to look at. No, she was pretty but she wore a pink flowery dress (not the baby pink that one would like it to be, it was that bubble gum pink that hurts your eyes when you see a full grown woman wear it, instead of a four year old) and you don’t really expect people to wear such clothes to the office and Fridays are no exceptions. She spoke something again “shhh ( it sounded like the isssshhh that Ash makes in Devdas . No she had a strange way of saying that, she sucked all the air in and then made that sound)…how could you do this? I feel so bad. This isn’t right; I never thought that it would turn out to be like this”. I did not understand a single word that she said. Did she have a break-up recently? It sounded like those cheesy break up lines that she had picked up from somewhere and didn’t know where and whom to say to. I felt sorry for her, she had lost it. While I was mulling over the reasons as to why this random woman had chosen me to say something so random like this, she shoved a print-out of something on my table, the fake sweetness in her voice had all melted and she was constantly making an irritating noise with her heels. I looked at the paper, it was some stupid creative for their dept and she had some problem with it. I explained to her the concept and stuff (it wasn’t really necessary) but I stopped coz she was talking incoherently, didn’t know what she was asking me for and most importantly was wasting MY time. I resumed my work while she stomped away making that squeaky irritating noise with her heels again. Her heels… something was definitely wrong with the pencil heels that she was wearing. None of my business.

This woman, let’s name her Pinky, made her way to my boss’s office and naturally the next moment I got a call to go to the meeting room. There was Ms. Pinky sitting cross legged, playing with her permed hair and my boss, typing something very fast on her laptop (later when I got back to work I got to know that these were mails being typed to me… some more tasks lined up nothing new but for a change let’s blame this on Pinky). She looked menacingly at me and asked for an explanation. Ms Pinky had reported about my rough behavior with her, to my boss. Ridiculous, I hardly spoke. I might look hideous but I do I look like a ruffian? Before I could say anything Pinky got a call on her pink phone and rushed out of the room. Dunno what happened in a split second but we heard Pinky scream and we rushed out of the room. I had never seen anything more hilarious. Pinky was lying on the floor, her phone had fallen somewhere else and most importantly her half broken pencil heels were right in front of our eyes. LOL. Bitch! she deserved this. The meeting was obviously cancelled, my boss couldn’t help laughing and Ms. Delicate had to seek assistance to get up and go to her cubicle. Ha ha I was happy. I can’t help but call myself a bitch … sometime back I was cribbing about the mountain load of work that I had and now I had time to enjoy the scene and call my friends and make this into a week’s office gossip. No wonder I hate prioritizing stuff.